Unemployed and Pregnant......awesome.

Or....more accurately, not awesome. 

I'll try to keep it short, but it might turn into the long version.  

Last year I worked at Highline Big Picture High School as the Internship Program Director. Big Picture Learning is an international network of over 100 schools that are geared towards engaging students who are not engaged with the traditional model of education (i.e. students who don't do well sitting in a seat all day, filling out worksheets, and taking tests.....how crazy that that isn't appealing to many students?!).  It's an internship based school meaning the our students go out into the community during the school day on Tuesdays and Thursdays to work with professionals in careers they are interested in learning more about.  Prior to moving out to the west coast, I worked at LaFayette Big Picture High School in the same role.  This is how my husband and I met...at a Big Picture conference.  

Here's our sweet little story (from our etsy page): 

Prior to meeting, Megan and Loren were educators in the same network of schools, based on a model of education called “Big Picture Learning”. Megan was born, raised and living in Upstate New York, while Loren was born, raised, and living on the other side of the country, in Seattle. In August of 2009 they met at the aptly named “Big Bang” conference in Providence, Rhode Island. Both their worlds were rocked! After experiencing an instant connection, on day two of knowing each other, Megan and Loren were already sure they were destined to be married and spend the rest of their lives together. Upon making this realization they did not hesitate to see it through. After a few months of traveling to see each other, Loren officially proposed and Megan made the move to Seattle. Fast forward a few more months and they are married. This overwhelming experience of love and passion re-awaked in them both a desire to create and make art, which they have been doing ever since.

Back to the present situation...Last summer I was offered the job at Highline Big Picture High School, which I accepted.   Because of various funding streams, rather than being hired by the district, I was hired on as an independent contractor for the year.  After submitting hours for my first month's worth of work the district informed me that I could not be paid as a contractor because I had been working in the district the year before in a different role.  I would have to wait a year from quitting my job at the district to be hired as an independent contractor with district funds.   This was a set back, but alas, funding was found for me to be officially hired by the district rather than as an independent contract.  Problem solved! ....not quite.  Apparently, it had just come to the districts attention that Loren and I were working in the same school.  Because his role as assistant principal, which puts him in a supervisory role, and a super vague district policy advising against that relationship, the district again said I could not work at the school.  So for months it looked like I might not have a job, although I kept going to work in hopes that It would work out.  Which it did.  In December, they found soft money to pay me through Big Picture Learning the network, so that on paper my supervisor would be someone from the national organization.  Technically hired in the state of Rhode Island and placed at Big Picture HS in the state of Washington.  On December 28th i finally got my 1st pay check for the year.  Needless to say, this was super stressful financially, mentally, and emotionally, although a huge relief when it all worked out. 

In anticipation of more silliness, I started the conversation about how my position would be funding the following school year last Spring just to ensure all the details would be worked out before the current school year let out.  The CTE funding for my position was freed up (check), the head of the CTE department for the district said she would act as my supervisor (check), many people from the district level made it sound like we'd be good to go (check!), I would be getting a significant raise (CHECK!) and my job would be secure for the future (CHECK, CHECK, CHECK!).  Job security, financial security, made it through the first two years of marriage...sounds like a great time to have think about making a baby (CHECK!). 

Well, to be honest, I still don't fully understand what happened. The head of the CTE department retired. The district got a new superintendent.  The district lawyer advised against hiring me on.  Loren got a promotion to co-principal, rather than assistant principal (YAY).   And every thing dissolved....very slooooooowly.  There was lots of work done behind the scenes to try to make it work out, but it came down to the lawyer advising against hiring me and the superintendent taking his advice.  It wasn't until 3 day (Yes, THREE DAYS!) before school started that I officially got the word that I would not have a job.  3 days before school started, when I could have had the whole summer to look for work.  During the summer, when I wasn't starting to show. Or maybe, if they had let me know last March, I could have found a new job and gotten settled into it before deciding the timing was right to expand our family.  I don't regret being pregnant right now, but I can imagine being in a more ideal situation.  In fact it's very easy to imagine being in a more ideal situation as we moved about 5 blocks from the school at the end of the summer...about a week before I found out I wouldn't have a job there any more.  

All that up there, that's the part of the story that I try not to dwell on.  To be honest, the first couple of weeks after finding out were really rough.  The Big Picture community really sucks you in.  I was quickly becoming part of Highline BP, on the path to feeling how I felt about LaFayette BP.  Prior to meeting Loren I wanted to marry and grow old with my job at that school.  The students and staff and involved community members that the model attracts are all the type of passionate people I love to surround myself with.  It's incredibly depressing to be pulled from that for a second time, especially this time around when it wasn't by choice.  It didn't necessarily feel like a choice when I moved to the west coast to be with Loren either - more like something I needed to do (needed to be with him), but that was obviously a very different scenario.  It feels unfair and unreal.  I would never do anything to harm kids or take advantage of a school district. I've worked hard and successfully my entire career.  I know, right now, this is the job I want and there is absolutely nothing I can do to have it. 

The situation stinks, but obviously there are far worse life situations I could be in.  I love my husband. I love my dogs.  We have a super supportive and loving family.  We have a little baby girl on the way.  I am more than capable of eventually finding a job.  There is no doubt that everything will work out in the long run.    

But right now - almost 6 months pregnant and applying for jobs puts me in a really awkward position. 

More to come...