IT SUCKED!!
Turns out I am not one of those glowing, happy, floaty pregnant ladies. In an uncharacteristic fit of optimism, I built this idea in my head that pregnancy was going to be a breeze. I had convinced myself I wouldn't experience nausea, as I typically have a very strong stomach, my skin would clear up, as I typically have breakouts, and the experience would bring my husband and I closer together. Oh the naivety!!
WARNING: The following is a spewing of negative recollection. While I am working on being more positive in general, I feel it is important to express what I have been actually feeling so others who are feeling similarly will know that they are not alone. In my opinion, it is ok not to enjoy every moment of being with child.
Morning Sickness:
Once I hit week 6.5 I was laid up. While I wasn't actually vomiting, I lived in fear of losing it every time I moved. I could barely eat and when I did I had the diet of a 5 year old. I had to force myself to eat saltine crackers, plain rice cakes, toast, cheese, yogurt - basically anything that was pale in color. I nearly had a temper tantrum one morning when I went to make make myself yet another slice of dreaded toast. All of eating was only done in order to avoid an empty stomach. Empty stomach = extreme pukey gut. I couldn't stand the through of seafood, meats, garlic, onions, complex flavors - pretty much everything I had previously enjoyed. And the prenatal vitamins...ugh...I dreaded them everyday. The smell of alcohol was hard to take, although there has been the occasional glass of red wine that smells more delicious that anything I have ever smelled. I also cannot get enough water.
NEXT TIME: I will definitely talk to my doctor about getting on an anti-nausea medication. Because I was on summer break I was able to suffer through it, but feeling so sick for so long was absolutely draining and a complete waste of time.
Skin and Hair:
Where is that fresh dewy look that pregnancy is supposed to bring? My skin is more broken out than it has been since high school. I was complaining about skin issues to my husband the other day and he said, "you've always had that zit factor on your cheek". Even though he immediately regretted the comment, you all can imagine how well that went over. Things not to say to a pregnant lady - or anyone in general, really. Way to go Loren. My hair is growing faster and that is a plus. I am going to use this time to re-establish my long flowing locks of yesteryear....if only my hair didn't get super greasy in 2.5 seconds after washing it. Fast hair growth is great for the head, but not so much for the legs. I'm glad we are moving into our cooler season, because shorts would be an issue. My hair also seems to be getting grayer at an exponential rate.
NEXT TIME: Go see a dermatologist. Actually, I'm not going to wait until next time. Also, I'm going to get new shampoo.
Husband Issues:
Maybe it's more like "me being cranky all the time and him not enjoying it" issues. That's not completely fair, but I do know that I have been exceptionally difficult to get along with. Not sure if I'm ready to fully delve into this one. All I can say is the simple act of creating a brand new human being together does not automatically bring two people together. I feel as though the hardest part has been that neither one of us truly believes that I am pregnant (still! 4.5 months into it). My husband seems to think that I am just an exaggerated version of all my bad qualities because I am not trying to control them. I think, although I strive to at some point, now would be an impossible time to work of self improvement. I can only imagine how wearing this is for him, but it certainly sucks for me too.
NEXT TIME: Ha! I will have to be very expertly convinced for there to be a next time.
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